Two Heads Are Better Than One

 There is no doubt Albert Einstein had a wife and a secretary to remind him to take his heart medication. He had enough going on with the Theory of Relativity and studying Gravitational Waves to tend to the necessities that kept him alive long enough to accomplish what his remarkable brain was capable of producing. All of us at some point could use a helpmate, a partner, a waiter, a cleaner, a social secretary, a bureaucracy cutter, an extra pair of hands, and an extra mind.  If one mind is overwhelmed by the pressures of the world, it is beneficial to have another mind to pick up the slack, as backup, power in reserve.  A second mind can keep us on track, call for reason or calm, but can also incite us to action.  Those who ignore the input of others are destined to become isolated dictators who rule over silenced populations, kings of the wasteland.  The collective knowledge of our fellow men can keep us from making catastrophic mistakes.  It is worth our while to listen.  

Folk wisdom suggests that men are bad listeners and that may be true.  They tend to be single-minded about things and don't always consider all sides.  Maybe that is why many women are not fast shoppers.  There is a time for consideration and a time to act.  Prolonged deliberation promotes frustration and in that state people often make rash and harmful choices.  In our decision-making, all voices, whether they are individuals, companies, or governments, are not equal.  We tend to pay more attention to what has helped us in the past, but this can lead to stagnation, with the helpers wishing to  perpetuate the status quo so they can maintain their position as valued advisors.

Every individual has the potential to bring an unknown universe to another's doorstep. We learn from each other and if we don't we are doomed.  We learn that we can teach one another, defend and protect one another, and if we listen, we will understand that we have basic human desires in common.  There are differences in the way each goes about fulfilling his needs. Individual cultures permit certain things that are forbidden in others, but if we can see beyond these, and not go to war over the details, we can all benefit from the relationship.  

If a scientist has a brilliant idea and shares it with his colleagues, the idea can take wing, but if it goes no farther than him, it risks dying in his own mind. Collaboration and cooperation are the best ways to complete many tasks.  None of the great civilizations would have been built without these pillars, but as high-flying as these pillars seem, they are constructed through the act of one man communicating with another.   The state apparatus of these influential civilizations may have been questionable, based as it still is on versions of slavery, but with reluctant cooperation, advances were and can be made.   Many lives were sacrificed to pull the majority of the world population out of starvation.  There is backsliding and there are leaps forward, but as MLK said, "The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice."  With good will and correct action we can steer ourselves in the right direction, but we need to listen to each other to understand the varied colours of the arc and to accept them as being as valid as our own. In silence, ignorance, and rigidity, lies misery.

Like minds can inspire each other to step up to new heights.  Van Gogh and Gauguin entangled their universes and bounced off each other, both coming away altered by the experience.  Each had his own style and palette. They weren't trying to be better than one another, but to show each other what they could do.  It wasn't a competition, a sport that pushes a man beyond what he believes are his physical limits, requiring a winner and a loser, but a game of comparative virtuosity.  The goal was not to win, but to strive to be better, to run faster than before, jump longer and higher, to try for a personal best. 

We don't understand all there is to know about the chemistry of human encounters.   When we see other humans from a distance, we exchange non-verbal signals as they get closer to us, hoping for a non-violent outcome of our impending encounter. When we are a short distance from each other we try to read body language, faces, and intent.  Even closer we might exchange words and odours.  If we don't know the person there may be eye contact and there may be a greeting as we pass. If we do know the person or are intentionally meeting them, there is often some form of physical connection, a handshake, a hug, or even a kiss.  It's in this physical contact, like animals touching noses, or circling nose to tail, that we exchange molecules, perhaps bacteria or viruses, but a physical exchange happens. If we pick up a virus from the other person, something that might not require contact but simply closeness, our well-being can change.  We can bring death to one another.  In every human interaction there is the possibility of gain or pain.  Van Gogh experienced the anguished side of the equation when he cut off his ear after Gauguin abandoned his idea of a community of artists.  Two can be stronger than one, they can stand back to back against the slings and arrows, but they can also destroy each other.Yet someone who opts to be solitary, risks floating off into the clouds like a hallucinating saint with no church to anchor them. 

The common wisdom is that it takes a village to raise a child, but I believe it takes a different type of village to raise an adult.  We never stop learning, and are always touched by the lives we encounter, whether we want to be or not. John Donne understood this when he wrote that "No man is an island entire of itself."  Since we are connected by our common humanity we must learn to give more space to the ideas of others, to listen to considered advice, to remember our history, embrace our divinity, and to act for good when action is necessary.   Separation, isolation, and entrenchment, lead to wars, but communication, tolerance, and understanding, can bring peace.  If we are able to put aside our egos and listen to others, we can arrive at solutions neither of us would have come to alone.  This is not a stand-off compromise, agreeing that one plus one will always equal one plus one, but that one plus one can equal two, lifting both parties to a better and stronger state.  The unity of two heads, two minds, and two hearts, is always better than one head alone in the wilderness.

The message here is a love letter; a thanks and appreciation for all of the souls who touched me, who shared their lives with me, who gave me their sparks of genius and their diseases.  Many are lost but not forgotten, and I treasure all of those communicators who tapped me on the shoulder, and said "Pay attention to me."